The Fountain of Youth: Ch 17 An Ounce of a Prevention

Ch 17 An Ounce of a Prevention

The tell tale signs of falling off the wagon

Running out of gas is not a fortuitous experience except in an unknown car with a broken gauge. It is always something which occurs as a result of putting off a fill up, doing things which seem more important, thinking there's more gas than there really is. It is always a pre-planned occurrence in a loser's script.

Eric Berne, originator of Transactional Analysis 1913-1970...from "What Do You Do After You Say Hello?"

Being on your hero's mailing list, having their link in your favorites is good, but it's never enough. That is, looking through their auto responders, reading their biographies, perusing their advice is never as good as seeing and hearing them say "Just do it," or whatever we need them to say.

But it's not just a question of hearing the right things or seeing a hero in our minds' eye. It's also a question of when. Long before we think we need them is ideal It should be like having a gas gauge in a car, one which lets us know when we're on one quarter full. What would be even better is having that accompanied by a voice saying you'd better get gas at the first upcoming pump.

Something similar should be operative when it comes to fitness. It should be that the one quarter mark is the time to think, feel, or do something about our workout, diet or supplements-- not when the needle is on red. And something relatively human should be there to tell us what we already know, namely that it's in our best interests to do something now.That's why our hero has got to be available within us 24/7.

What we really need is a hero that comes to mind in the early evening possibly twelve hours before the next work out. This is far better than having them appear five minutes before gym time, reminding us that out starting time is four am. We know that already. What we don't really know is that we must be in bed by nine, or we'll never make it. That is something that Jack, Jillian or Jane can say at 8:00 PM, possibly in the form of better cut the TV short and start getting ready for bed.

Another message that would be good concerns eating as it relates to emotional trouble. What we need is not someone who reminds us that we should keep on our diet. This we already know. Rather, we need a hero who'll say, it looks like you're going to have a frustrating time with the report, so you're going to feel like pigging out tonight, so it's better do something now to ward off that frustration or take care of that hunger before it's sure to be too much to handle."

Last but not least, we need to hear a message about buying supplements. Most often our ordering is done on the at much the same time each month. The temptation is to give ourselves a raise by not spending the money for the PeterPanPills--the ones which the medical community thinks we shouldn't need anyway. That prejudice may start becoming active right after the last expenditure. It is at this point that our hero needs to remind us of our need for the extra nutrients to keep up the workouts, and that the food we get simply does not have enough of what we need.
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A 24/7 imaginary hero

Clearly these messages are within the contexts of our heroes' websites. But they're what we need to see and hear--experience, not just read. That's what we need if we're going to stay on course. Moreover, it's exactly what we'd hear if our hero were right at our side, living with us.

The most important thing is to get a good feel for whomever we choose as a hero. That generally can be gotten by carefully reading their website (aloud now and then is good,) preferably over a few weeks, always doing our homework, learning everything that's there. This may have some value in bringing up something which we didn't already know. But this is less likely than us getting acquainted with the personality of the person we like. That's the most important thing.

It can never be stressed enough that the problem most of us have is in the actual doing of what we know we should. Few of us are really that much in the dark when it come to the nuts and bolts of a fitness lifestyle, though it's true that there's always something which we can pick up. The big thing is in actually getting the right things to work for us. This, of course, means getting us to religiously work at them.
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It's a question of when

The best motivator--the best safeguard against falling off the wagon (diet, supplement, or workout-wise) is the image of the celebrity we like. We need to see and hear them say the right things. But this has got to happen early in the day, not ten minutes before dinner time or time to go to the gym, not right before ordering next month's supply of vitamins. Moreover, hearing it after we've overeaten, missed our workout spent our extra money on Kentucky Fried Chicken is less than helpful. Truly, guilt can motivate us for the next time, but it is more likely to make us feel like losers-- people who never give themselves a chance to win.

The important thing to remember is that going off of a fitness lifestyle does not just happen out of the blue. It starts early in the day, week or month--building in intensity until it broadsides us. After sneakily coming up on us, we are made to feel that the only reasonable or mature thing to do is go off the wagon. (For example, who's got the time make up their workout after already being late getting out of the house?) Granted, things may be different when it comes to something like a medical emergency with a family member. But, in all honesty, how many times does this really happen each year? The truth is that we generally know what's going to get us off course long before it actually does.

It is in the early stages that our hero's got to be effective. Allowing that person to be that way is all up to us. We need only to turn them on in our minds and then listen to what they have to say. The time to do this is when we feel that we might be prone to fall off the wagon later on in the day, ie. not when we've already decided that it's mature, realistic, or whatever to do so.
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An active imagination is our best friend

Nowadays one of the things we say a lot is unfortunately. We say that when something doesn't work out. Generally this is used in conjunction with a polite no when we can't help someone. For example, if we own a grocery store and some one asks if we sell screwdrivers we will most likely say unfortunately, we don't. This is much nicer than saying no...and we don't sell floor covering either; or just plain no, we don't, and walk away. Clearly, we know that the unfortunately response is best if we want them to buy their weekly supply of groceries before leaving.

The point here is that no one would expect a grocer to sell screwdrivers. So, its OK if we don't have them on the shelf. In fact, it can be seem a little odd if anyone would even ask. (OK, maybe there is a grocery store in some other part of the tucked away part of the country that does sell screwdrivers, but most simply don't.)

It gets a little more tense when someone asks if we can do something for them. Here the unfortunately no I can't may require a little more verbiage. For example, if we are asked at the office to give for the American Cancer Society, we may have to say unfortunately I just gave to Easter Seals. Or, if we are asked to give time for an extra activity at church, we may have to say unfortunately I just took on something else at work, so no, I can't right now.

The truth is that we could have come up with five dollars for the Cancer folks or possibly an hour for the church. But we're unwilling to dig into our reserves to do so. Of course, we can't say yes I've got the time (or the money,) but I'm unwilling to give them up now or whenever. This may be most honest, but it falls into the surly or rude category. Thus, we say unfortunately I can't with whatever other excuse we may think necessary.

The problem in most instances is that we really believe we can't do what's being asked of us. In other words, we are generally not thinking sure I can give five bucks to the Cancer Society but I really want it for beers with the guys. Or, sure I've got a little extra time to give to church, but I'd really don't want to miss my favorite TV show. Therefore I'm going to say "unfortunately no" to this person so I don't make them an enemy. In addition, we really believe that we don't have either the time or the money, because our pay checks aren't big enough or there aren't enough hours in the day.

The trouble with all of this self-delusion is in not being aware of our ability to find resources for what we need when it comes to fitness. It is very easy, and natural nowadays to say unfortunately I just overslept so I missed getting to the club at four. Or, unfortunately, it took me more time to do the year end report so I just couldn't get to the gym. Or, unfortunately, it cost more going out eat this month so I just couldn't afford the vitamins. Or unfortunately we just had too many people's houses we had to go to, so I just didn't stay as close to my diet as I should have.

Unless we are talking about buying a Lexus on a minimum wage salary, the truth is that we can find the resources for anything that we really want to do, namely get in shape and stay that way forever. And, there are indicators which tell us how much we can invest in doing so. For one thing, we can check our account balances. We can check right on the internet if we happen to have left our checkbook in the car. For another, we can assess the amount of time we spend working at our desks. Not every hour must be filled to get our jobs completely done. And, not all modern day bosses are so tyrannical as to expect more than is necessary to make that happen. Too, we really can get out of some social obligations without getting into trouble. Looking carefully at our resources will make us aware of what we have available. But really we have to look, and be very honest when doing so.

What this means is that we've really got to pay attention to our figurative gas gauge if we want enough fuel for those few extra miles (to go Rocky's distance.)
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Ignoring our gauges is just uncool

This applies to the quote at he beginning of the chapter. No one would ever believe us if we said unfortunately I just ran out of gas and I have no idea why. And, no one would ask if the gauge in our car were broken. No one is that nice. Besides, if it were broken, it'd just become that way, and we'd have had a good idea of how much was in the tank prior to it happening. The truth is that we put off going to the gas station, probably for a few days straight.

The same scenario applies to fitness. 1.) We know when we're very tired from an exceptionally hard day, but we prefer watching the same old reruns instead of going to bed earlier. Thus, we miss our early morning workout. 2.) We know that we a number of social obligations, but we don't do anything to re-arrange our social calendar or prepare for having to eat some other person's cooking. 3.) We know when we will have extra financial obligations during the month, but do nothing to eliminate some of the fluff so that we've got the money for the vitamins. In other words, we set ourselves up to fall off the wagon.

Therefore, it's really our fault when all of these things "just happen." It isn't unfortunate : it's just downright irresponsible. Berne, the famous psychiatrist from the late sixties, quoted above, would say that we unconsciously do (or don't do) these things to justify a sad outcome--one which makes us look like a loser in a melodrama --the character Mom loves the most. But we needn't get into all of that.

The real question ought to be what to about it so that we don't get into being a loser--so that we don't go off the wagon. In other words, how do we get back on the wagon before falling off. The answer is to be familiar with our "gauges" while simultaneously listening to our heroes when they say fill up now--now, when the gauge says one quarter, not when it says empty. That requires a highly developed imagination.

When we get really good at having one of these, we will then see ourselves falling off the wagon long before we do. That's the precise moment when we also need to experience our hero telling us to hang on tighter, ie. go to bed earlier, save the money for the vitamins and decide beforehand that wherever we are we're going to eat only what's good for us and not a morsel more.

Having all of that going on in our imagination early in our day, when we start to feel as if there might be a problem later-- long before workout time, dinner time, or supplement purchase time will keep us from ever falling off our wagons again.
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Going through the motions is never enough

“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.”

Thomas Alva Edison quotes (Most famous American Inventor who, singly or jointly, held a world record 1.093 patents. In addition, he created the world's first industrial research laboratory, 1847-1931)

One of the best ways to stay on the wagon is to be the person who's driving it. This is entirely different than going along for the ride with someone else doing the driving. As pointed out in earlier chapters, the latter is most like signing up for the biggest loser contest or playing the part of a recruit in a boot camp--neither of which are optimal ways of getting fit and staying that way forever. The former is where it's at, or where it should be at if we really want to win. But it's hard; so it can make us want to just go through the motions, or let someone else tell us what to do.

First off, it may be confusing to think of a hero telling you what to do, while at the same time being our own person. This confusion can be remedied by a little consciousness raising : 1.) we choose our own hero like Lalanne, Fonda, Michael, or whomever; 2.) we figure out what we need to hear them say to us; 3.)we study all of their material to simply absorb all of the good common sense advice which they have to teach; 4.) we get our own imaginations going in service of our desire to be the fittest person that we can be. That's the best way to get someone telling us what we already know--the very thing that most of us sorely need!

In other words, we choose the hero to listen to, even program them just for us. That's the best way of getting us to appropriately respond. When we are into all of this, we are not one of the other losers in a biggest loser contest or a rookie in a boot camp. Rather, we are are our own person, in charge of our fitness and total health. We are our own coach turning us into our own Rocky, who can go the distance with the champ. Simple as this is, it isn't easy. Therefore, it may make us want to ease up.

The desire to do this comes over and over again. It happens long before we ever get to the gym, sit down to dinner or plan out what vitamins to order. It occurs whenever a let whatever happens happen frame of mind comes up--one which will never be in our best interests. What has to happen is that we immediately shift back into being the in-training champion whom we really are (the one who goes the distance everyday--every day preparing to go the distance with the champ.) How does that happen? In a way very much the same as above.

We have to get our imaginations in gear to head off this laxness. We have to be where our heroes would want us if they were right there with us. None of them would ever let us start thinking of taking it easy at our workouts, of taking a "little" break from all of the diet food, of missing a months worth of vitamins to save a little money for some fun stuff. They would know that we were thinking about any or all of these long before the crucial time, and they would cut off our laxness on the front end--right at the very thought of longing for all of that ease of the American good life. (How many commercials do see like this day after day.) Neither Jack, Jillian, nor Jane would ever be sympathetic with this lapse into Lala Land.

For those who think this type of fitness thinking is just too hard, trust this : it gets easier with time, consistency and a few successes. Nevertheless, it seems preferable either go through the motions or follow a Drill Sergeant type. Either of these will make make our minds shut off--during which time we will have only a marginal chance of getting some benefit. That may sound like as good as can be expected, but it has the greatest likelihood of causing injuries or quitting. Why? Because we're people and therefore never really very inclined to do anything against our will!

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Wrapping it up

If unfortunately plays a big part in our every day speech, we need to be careful. It is one thing to use it for staying out of trouble when saying no to people, but it is quite another to really believe in it. If we believe that things actually under our control are somehow just the whim of destiny, we are missing out on our ability to shape our own life--that's our ability to be our own version of Rocky.

Being aware of ourselves is key (knowledge of what the "gas gauge" says.) We simply have to know what we can and cannot do--what causes this and what we can do to perform as best as we really can. We all can imagine ourselves doing what we know we shouldn't. We all can imagine what our heroes would tell us to do. And most importantly, we all can be the drivers of our own wagons instead of the mere riders who are prone to fall off. But being our own person takes forethought and an active imagination. That's oftentimes harder than doing a hard workout.

Nevertheless, by always doing both, we can and will go the distance as our own Rocky.

For further thought on heroes and heroines order my e-book "Think and Grow Fit."